Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Mental Defeat

Where is this person? I'd like to know.

I've already mentioned how I struggle with winter, and this year it seems like my mental toughness/motivation is suffering as well. I don't even feel like that person who completed an Ironman or even the person who ran a sub-4 hour marathon. 

I know I was the person who did those things, but I'm wondering if I still am that person. 

I find myself questioning if I am still capable of running a fast marathon time, or if I am going to be able to complete my 50K in May, or if I am going to be able to finish another Ironman.

Deep down inside, I know that I am capable of doing all of those things, and more (I'm even contemplating a 50 miler in November). But for some reason, my mental toughness is severely lacking right now. 

I put off running until tomorrow and rode on the trainer tonight instead. At least I did something, I could just be skipping workouts completely. I could have gone for a run, Mike and I were planning on it, but then I got home and I just let my mind get the best of me. It wasn't even that bad outside, alright fine it was 18 degrees and wherever we ended up running would have been snow-covered but at least the sun was shining. 

Part of my lack of motivation (even though I am getting all of my run workouts, at least one swim and bike workout and two strength workouts done) is the fact that we don't have any races until March 29th. It just seems so far away and makes winter feel like it is never-ending.

The good news? I still LOVE swimming, biking and running. It is still who I am. I know that this sport, just like life, comes with ups, downs, plateaus and everything in between. 


  1. I know exactly how you feel- there are times we go through ruts. I had an entire year like this. I am now training for Boston (which I was dreading-but now am loving) and I also signed up for the Run The Edge 2015 in 2015 challenge. I am more motivated than ever to get out there and run. I live in Southern Cal tho- I don't deal with winter at all. I used to live in DC, so I kind of get it. From one runner to another, putting my arms around you and hoping that that spark comes back into your life.

  2. I usually hibernate during the winter, too. It's just hard to find motivation when it's cold and dark outside! I signed up for a marathon at the end of February, so I haven't had any choice *but* to train. It's been really hard, but I'm getting through it! You'll find the motivation again!

  3. Ugh, it's definitely that time of year when motivation wanes. You're not the only one. We were actually talking about this at my CompuTrainer class today. I have a few running races coming up, which makes it easier to keep my head in the game. Hang tough, friend--you'll get through it!

  4. Winter is so tough, it is not even cold here and I am still struggling just because of the dark. I am so sorry you are going through this.

  5. The winter is a tough time to stay motivated. I am not training for anything currently, so I am having a hard time running more than 3 miles for that very reason.

  6. Girl, it is totally OK to take a little bit of down time. You said it yourself, you're still getting all of your runs in, and doing a crap ton of cross training! You can't expect yourself to stay in Ironman training mode 100% of the time. You need this time to be able to come back and achieve your goals. You are still my tri-spiration, and just an overall life inspiration. I'll be here any time you need a reminder! xoxo

    1. Thanks, Ari!

      P.S. I thought about you during the Super Bowl because they kept showing the Grand Canyon!

  7. My whole take on this is that when I feel this way, I just avoided an injury. I kid you not. When I am not focused, running because the schedule says so, I pull up lame. The fact that you rode the trainer and still enjoy swimming speaks volumes of WHO IS IN THAT PHOTO. February will bring change for you and the miles will begin adding up again. Stay Strong & Stay Present!!!