I am not that kind of triathlete, however. Granted there are races where I am content with just doing it for fun, or running with someone else to help him/her achieve his/her goals.
Runner's World Half - fun and hard work
The Philadelphia Marathon (and basically every marathon I have done) is not one of those races. I have made a few statements about my intentions for this race before, while keeping in mind how I felt after our Ironman could be a game-changer.
Well, I have felt GREAT after our Ironman! Yes, there was some soreness in the beginning but our paces have drastically improved since the end of August (I think that the fact we aren't putting close to 200 miles on our legs a week has something to do with that).
Run after run has felt great, there have been a few that haven't felt the best but I was still able to push through and finish. Yesterday, was not really one of those days.
I had my dose of reality yesterday. Attempting to run a sub-4 hour marathon is going to be hard work, hard work that I am willing to put in and that I think I am ready for, but hard work regardless. Yesterday's 22 miler was my worst long run of this training cycle. On the surface it doesn't look that bad, 22 miles at 9:35 pace in the cold and the wind.
Ah, the MDI Marathon.
However, I felt mentally defeated during this run and nothing pulled me out of it. I even said, "I don't know if I can sub-4 at Philly" to Mike. I said, "I can't", "I don't want to do this anymore", etc. The one reason I even planned a 22 miler, rather than just a second 20 miler like we normally do, was so that I could get past my 20 mile threshold (the furthest I have ever run without walking is 20.5 miles). Unfortunately, yesterday that didn't happen either. I didn't even make it to 20 miles before I "had to" walk.
In the end, no one cares if I run a sub-4 hour marathon except me. And maybe Mike. Even he will be proud of me no matter what I end up doing. Most people will be proud of me no matter what I do (and those who aren't, don't matter), the time on the clock is inconsequential to everyone but me.
I am still going to give it my all, I know that I have a sub-4 hour marathon in me somewhere, and try my best. I am hoping that my best on November 23rd is 3:xx:xx, but if not that's alright too.
I am happy that I am able to run a 4:xx:xx marathon. I am happy that I am able to finish a marathon. I am happy that I am able to run at all.
But, something in me wants more. Hopefully I have what it takes.